Kadaj's Worst Nightmare
by Northsky
Summary: It's total Chaos for everyone when Kadaj finds a gigantic spider creeping around in his room. [One shot]


**Kadaj's Worst Nightmare**

**AH HA! The crazy Northsky is back! Today the lucky contestant I'm gonna torture in this story is ….. TA DA! (plays dramatic music) Kadaj! **

**Kadaj: ……. Oh mother…**

**Kadaj dear, the disclaimer please. **

**Kadaj: I refuse to be subjected to this kind of humiliation!**

**Hmmm…. lollypop?**

**Kadaj: lollypop? Yay! (snatches lollypop and start slurping loudly)…..wait! YOU! DON'T USE MY WEAKNESS AGAINST ME! **

**Haha-just do it. **

**Kadaj: (cringes) your more scarier than Sephiroth…. sigh Northsky does not own any of the characters used in this story…..mumbles thank god….. except the house keeper Tylee.**

**Before we continue I wanna sort some things out…**

**This story is not base on the game or the movie FF7 AC so kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz are not enemies with the Avalanche team.**

**They all live in a boarding house which is a mansion.**

**Now on to the story!!**

Loz smirked. In his hand was a see through container he had recently acquired from their new house keeper Tylee. In the container was an amazingly huge spider. He sneaked towards the door across from his room. He looked around, making sure that nobody was in the hallway and opened the door.

He smirked again and pull off the container lid. He put the container sideways on the floor and watch the spider crawl out of the container.

"What are you doing Loz?" Loz jumped and looked behind him. A girl about 19 stood behind him arms crossed. She had light brown hair and her blue gray eyes were giving him a stern glare.

"Oh Tylee, it's just you, umm just getting back at my brother." Loz smiled evilly. Tylee peeked past Loz and into the room.

"It's that spider I caught yesterday in Marlene and Denzel's room right?" She shivered at the sight of the huge spider. "Why are you putting it in Kadaj's room?"

"I told you, to get him back! Kadaj is scared to death of spiders! He almost received a heart attack from a spider the size of a bottle cap. Think about his reaction when he sees the size of this one! It's as big as your palm!!" Loz wildly gestured excited.

"Why do I get the feeling that this isn't a very good idea…" Tylee muttered.

"Oh you're just paranoid Ty. It's just a small joke." Loz chuckled, lead Tylee out into the hallway, closed the door and with a wink walked into his room.

Tylee sighed, she didn't have a very good feeling about this. None of Loz's tricks come out to be very beneficial to him in the end.

She got back to cleaning the third floor hallway and was thinking about Kadaj and the spider when she heard a voice and footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Speak of the devil." She muttered to herself.

"Come on Barret! You move to slow!" Kadaj bounced up the stairs excitedly.

"Coming! Coming!" Tylee winced as Barret's dirty boots clomp up the stairs she just cleaned.

Kadaj turned around and seeing Tylee smiled. "Hey Ty!"

"Hey Kadaj, whatcha up to?"

"Oh I just wanna show Barret this new magazine I got!" Kadaj was in his childish mood right now, but he's a moody kid and could easily switch back into his usual sulky self.

"Here I am Kadaj now hurry up and show me, I got other things to do!" Barret appeared, and waved to Tylee.

"OK, OK! Come on!" Kadaj and Barret went into Kadaj's room and the hallway was silent once more. Tylee waited but upon hearing no noises coming from the room went back to work.

She was just about to start polishing the window at the other end of the hallway when she heard the scream. It was loud and piercing. She jumped and ran toward the source of the scream, Kadaj's room.

The door to Loz's room opened and Loz came out snickering like a kid. The door in front of Tylee burst opened and unable to stop herself in time she crashed into it.

Yazoo came out with his Velvet Nightmare in his hand. He glanced at Tylee who was sitting on the floor rubbing her sore nose, and began walking fast toward his younger brother's room.

He opened Kadaj's door and stared in. Tylee got up, nose still sore and heard gunshots. She looked toward Yazoo but saw him duck as a shower of bullets came his way.

Apparently he wasn't the one who fired. She ran towards Kadaj's room and peeked in.

Kadaj was still screaming, and he had apparently jumped into Barret's arms Scooby-Doo style. He was clawing at Barrets's face, blocking his vision, and screaming into his ear.

Barret, blind and deaf had began shooting with his gun arm at nothing in particular. Tylee couldn't help it but she started laughing uncontrollably. Loz, who was standing on the other side of the door was laughing his head off.

Yazoo reached up and pulled Tylee down next to him just Barret's gun arm shower a rain of bullets in their direction. Tylee turned around to see a small smile on his normal stonic face.

Loz didn't need any help coming down, he was already on the floor rolling around with laughter.

"Kadaj!" Came a shout from the room.

"Barret! My room! Stop shooting!!"

"I can't see a blasted thing!" The mechanical arm went on shooting in all direction with Barret and Kadaj in his arm in the middle.

"MY BOOKSHELF! NO!!!!! AHHH! DON'T! NOT MY YUNA POSTER!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Kadaj screamed in frustration as he watched his room and his precious X-2 Yuna poster get destroyed by bullets.

"AHHH! Get off me Kadaj! AND STOP SCREAMING IN MY EAR!" Barret screamed back at the silver haired teenager in his arm just as loudly.

Through all the commotion Tylee saw the spider, unharmed, sitting on the floor next to kadaj's destroyed bookshelf. The commotion also brought up a few other borders.

"Who's shooting?" Cloud yelled from a safe distance of the shooting. Behind him Tifa, Yuffie, and Nanaki watched shocked and amused.

"Barret." Tylee yelled back. Cloud came running over. The rest followed him.

"Barret stop shooting!" Nanaki yelled at the dark skinned man in the room.

"Cant! The trigger's stuck!!" Barret screeched.

"We'll just have to wait until the bullets in Barret's gun run out." Tifa said

"That'll take a while…." Cloud muttered.

After much shouting from Kadaj and Barret the rain of bullets finally stopped. Loz was now quietly giggling. Yazoo sighed, stood up and walked into the destroyed room.

Tylee got up and immediately walked toward the giant palm sized spider; she tried to trap it with an unbroken container in the room. But it started scampering, FAST, to another spot and Kadaj saw it and….well you know the rest. The scream was deafening.

Yazoo decided that it was time he take control of the situation and with his free hand (the other one was trying to block out Kadaj's scream) squashed the spider with the butt of his gun.

They all winced at the crunch(except Yazoo), and Kadaj….well he screamed again. Yazoo, oblivious to the other's disgust, wiped all the spider juice and guts on the curtains.

Kadaj looked like he was on the verge of tears. Yazoo walked over to Kadaj and held him like a mother would hold a child. He only ever shows emotions to his little brother.

"It's ok Kadaj, we could get you new stuffs for your room and you could sleep in my room until your new room is ready." Yazoo whispered to his brother patting him on the head. Kadaj looked at his hole filled posters with pain in his eyes.

"Even new Yuna posters?" He looked like he was gonna burst any minute. Yazoo sighed.

"Even new and better Yuna posters."

Tylee walked over to a guilty looking Barret who was picking up one of Kadaj's Yuna poster.

"Don't feel bad Barret, you didn't mean it." She patted his gun arm. He nodded

"I still destroyed his room though…." He sighed dropping the bullet filled poster on the floor. The bystanders had come in. Tifa gasped at the mess and Yuffie looked like her eyes would bug out.

"Yikes! What happened in here?" The ninja asked.

"A huge spider." Kadaj said pitifully from his spot in Yazoo's arms and pointed at the mess of a spider on the wall. "I hate spiders."

Yuffie looked toward the spot Kadaj was pointing at and winced. "Me too."

"But you should have seen your face when you saw the spider." Loz laughed. Kadaj looked at Loz suspiciously and suddenly jumped up.

" You! You put the spider in my room didn't you Loz! I saw you with a container the yesterday sneaking around my room!"

"Uhhh what would give you that idea brother dear." Loz chuckled nervously.

"You're a bad liar Loz." Cloud butted in.

"Ummm….uhhhh…." Loz started retreating to the door.

"Loz!!" Barret yelled at the retreating figure.

"I'll kill you!" Kadaj, over his fright, grabbed his katana and ran after Loz who was already out of the door. This time it was Loz's turn to scream.

**Muahahahaha!! It's done!! **

**Kadaj: (weep) I hate spiders! AND I HATE YOU!**

**Oh geeze that's nice Kadaj-poo I love you too here's a lollypop for all your hardwork! **

**Kadaj: (squeal! slurp)**

**Ok people review please! Poor Kadaj here needs to know that his hard work is appreciated! A lollypop to everyone who reviews! Grape flavored! Mmmmm (slurp)**

**Hey guess what people! I created a sequel to this!! It's called Kadaj's Revenge! Yay! More Kadaj torturing! And Loz and Sephiroth torturing too!!**

**Kadaj: wahhh!!! I quit!**

**Loz: Me too!**

**Hey! You can't quit! You weren't even hired! Who's gonna entertain the crowds!!**


End file.
